Child Abuse: A Dark Reality.

A 5 yr. old boy is made to stand naked by his 40 yr. old uncle while the latter stares at the naked child for a while. A 10 yr. old girl is raped by her school teacher. Somewhere a 15 yr. old boy fondles the private parts of his 6. yr. old sister almost regularly. Someplace else a father molests his 10 yr old girl and 12 yr old boy in front of their mother who refuses to believe this is happening in her house and thus, does nothing about it.

These above cases may be unnamed works of fiction for the sake of citing examples, but the fact that similar incidents may be occurring at the rate at which one blinks is no fantasy, but a dark despairing reality. 

What is child abuse? Would you label sexual / physical assault on a child as abuse? Is abuse limited to physical touching? A widely accepted definition of child abuse is: "Any recent act or failure to act on the part of a parent or caretaker which results in death, serious physical or emotional harm, sexual abuse or exploitation". As is evident from this definition, child abuse is a broad term that is not limited to acts of physical or sexual violence against children but abuse also encompasses incidents of emotional abuse and child neglect. 

Incidents of sexual or physical abuse are definitely damaging to the child's overall sense of self and to a large extent influences their adult development. However, serious psychological harm can occur where the behaviour of a child's parent or caregiver damages the confidence and self esteem of the child or young person, resulting in serious emotional disturbance or psychological trauma. For example, making negative comparisons of your child to others or telling a child he or she is “no good," "worthless," "bad," or "a mistake" can lead to deep self doubt in a child. 

Child neglect or negligent treatment of a child is purposeful omission of some or all developmental needs of the child by a caregiver with the intention of harming the child. This includes the failure of protecting the child from a harmful situation or environment when feasible. It is a pattern of failing to provide for a child's basic needs, whether it be adequate food, clothing, hygiene, or supervision. Intentionally neglecting a child can lead to severe setbacks in a child's overall development. 

Physical abuse is a non-accidental injury or pattern of injuries to a child or young person caused by a parent, caregiver or any other person. It includes but is not limited to injuries which are caused by excessive discipline, severe beatings or shakings, cigarette burns, attempted strangulation and female genital mutilation. Injuries may include bruising, lacerations or welts, burns, fractures or dislocation of joints. Very simply put, slapping a child for not doing their homework is an act of abuse and it's illegal. 

More recently, there has been a lot of media reports regarding incidents of child sexual abuse. The matter itself is very grave, needs a lot of awareness among the masses and efforts need to be made to curtail the incidence of child sexual abuse. Sexual abuse of a child is engaging him or her in any sexual activity that he/she does not understand or cannot give informed consent for or is not physically, mentally or emotionally prepared for. Abuse can be conducted by an adult or another child who is developmentally superior to the victim. This includes using a child for pornography, sexual materials, prostitution and unlawful sexual practises. Exposing a child to sexual situations or materials is abusive, whether or not touching is involved. Child sexual abuse is increasingly rampant and in all strata of society. Most often when a child reports to their parents about such an act which they were subjected to, the parents try to hush it up for fear of embarrassment in front of friends or family or often because they don't believe their child or at least pretend not to. 

In India, the data from the National Study on Child Abuse (2007) reveals disturbing findings. 2 out of every 3 children in India are physically abused. 53.22 % of all Indian children have been sexually
abused at sometime. 50 % of the sexual abusers are people known to the child or persons in positions of trust and authority. The study also revealed that every second child in India has reported experiencing emotional abuse. In 83 % of the emotional abuse case, parents of the child were the abusers. W.H.O. estimates that 150 million girls and 73 million boys under 18 have been subjected to forced sexual intercourse or other forms of sexual violence. 

What is it thats propelling people to abuse young children? Is it a question of morality, superiority or sheer psychopathology? In this article I will refrain from speaking on that matter. Instead, let's focus our attention on the understanding and prevention of child abuse. 

Some myths and facts about child abuse: 

MYTH #1: It's only abuse if it's violent.

Fact: Physical abuse is just one type of child abuse. Neglect and emotional abuse can be just as damaging, and since they are more subtle, others are less likely to intervene.

MYTH #2: Child abuse doesn't happen in “good” families.

Fact: Child abuse doesn't only happen in poor families or bad neighborhoods. It crosses all racial, economic, and cultural lines. Sometimes, families who seem to have it all from the outside may be hiding a different story behind closed doors.

MYTH #3: Most child abusers are strangers.

Fact: While abuse by strangers does happen, most abusers are family members or others close to the family. As mentioned earlier, 50 % of the sexual abusers are known to the victim.

Here are 10 signs that can help you identify if your child has been subjected to abuse: 

1. Unexplained injuries : Visible signs of physical abuse may include unexplained burns or bruises. You may also hear unconvincing explanations of a child’s injuries.

2. Changes in behaviour: Abuse can lead to many changes in a child’s behaviour. Abused children often appear scared, anxious, depressed, withdrawn or more aggressive.

3. Returning to earlier behaviours: Abused children may display behaviours shown at earlier ages, such as thumb-sucking, bed-wetting, fear of the dark or strangers. For some children, even loss of acquired language or memory problems may be an issue.

4. Fear of going home: Abused children may express apprehension or anxiety about leaving school or about going places with the person who is abusing them.

5. Changes in eating: The stress, fear and anxiety caused by abuse can lead to changes in a child’s eating behaviors, which may result in drastic weight gain or weight loss.

6. Changes in sleeping: Abused children may have frequent nightmares or have difficulty falling asleep, and as a result may appear tired or fatigued.

7. Changes in school performance and attendance: Abused children may have difficulty concentrating in school or have excessive absences, sometimes due to adults trying to hide the children’s injuries from authorities.

8. Lack of personal care or hygiene: Abused and neglected children may appear uncared for. They may present as consistently dirty and have severe body odor, or they may lack sufficient clothing for
the weather.

9. Risk-taking behaviours: Young people who are being abused may engage in high-risk activities such as using drugs or alcohol or even carrying a weapon.

10. Inappropriate sexual behaviours: Children who have been sexually abused may exhibit overly sexualized behavior or use explicit sexual language.

Some signs that a child is experiencing violence or abuse are more obvious than others. Trust your instincts. Suspected abuse is enough of a reason to probe further and contact the authorities if needed. It is extremely important that the child knows you trust him / her and never show doubt about the child's version of the story. You can always confirm the events later on but probing the child using harsh words or showing a lack of belief about what the child is saying will cause only further damage and the child may not report any further incidents. 

If you do suspect a child has been abused then

- Keep calm.

- Tell the child you believe them.

- Show interest and concern.

- Reassure and support the child.

Finally, remember that Prevention is better than Cure. Educate your child about good touch and bad touch and their right to not let anyone touch them. Let your child know you are always there for them. 

For workshops on child abuse awareness contact shobhika@jaju.in
(Article first published in Evescape, November, 2014 )