SOS for Stressed Out Teens

Stress, is a term used colloquially every now and then. We all have heard and lamented about how stressed we are. Have you ever wondered that your 12 or 15 year old may be equally or even more stressed than you are?

Stress is a feeling that's created when we react to particular events. It's the body's way of rising to a challenge and preparing to meet a tough situation with focus, strength, stamina, and heightened alertness. Stress can be both positive or negative.

Go out and ask a parent if they think their children are more stressed than they were at that age, and most parents will likely answer in the affirmative. Teens today are feeling the pressure of more demanding curriculum, longer homework sessions, high-stakes testing, and more competitive college admissions. There is also the desire to be the most socially desirable person in one's social circles and the constant need to update each life event on the various social media is also adding to the already heightened stress levels.  

We can't blame our teens for the increased amounts of stress that they are experiencing because directly or indirectly we are also partly and in some cases mostly responsible for it. "There's a little fallacy that we have to enrich our children's experience with every kind of lesson and every kind of sport and every kind of club, and that backfires at a certain point," says Goleman (psychologist & author). We are part of the increasingly demanding world that is burdening them with constant pressure to excel in whatever they choose to do and God save them, if they choose to do nothing! 

Now that we are slightly aware of what's causing stress to our teens, let's consider ways in which we can help them to control or reduce it.

To begin with let's refrain from over scheduling our teens time. These days we are constantly pushing our children to go from one class to another, for tuitions, hobby classes, sports, music,  dance, the list is never ending. It's time, the young ones are given the much needed break so that they can have the 'Me' time that we as adults also crave for.

Be realistic when it comes to your teens achievements. If you are the kind of parent who is constantly demanding a 10/10 in each and every assessment that your ward is taking, then you are doing more damage than you can imagine. Nagging children for the same thing again and again can push them away from their studies even if they like it.

Try relaxation strategies with your child. Meditative techniques can be suited to the needs and age of each person. There is a massive amount of research that documents the positive effects of relaxation exercises as simple as deep breathing. Take out time from your schedules for something like a family relaxation hour where in all of you practise relaxation exercises together.

As parents you are the best people to decide upon the ways that can help your teen. Sit down with them. Talk about what's stressing them out. Devise plans, schedules and strategies along with them rather than for them. Take them for short trips where you expect them to do nothing but just relax and have fun. Your teen needs you, not to dictate their lives, but to help them take charge of it without being burdened by the stress that comes along with it.

If the levels of stress among our teens are on rise, so also is the amount of help available for the same. It's time to expose our children to a stress free environment.

(Article first published in Evescape: February 2014)