Importance of Play in a Child's Life

"You can know more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation" - Plato

This quote holds true in the modern world even after decades of the great thinker saying it aloud. As a play therapist, I can vouch for the truth behind this statement and so will most other play therapists. 

In today's world, our children are under tremendous pressure from all quarters. Be it their parents, teachers or friends, everybody expects something out of a child who is still learning the ways of life. As parents we push our child to excel at academics while at the same time being the best at sports, dance & drama, perhaps at playing musical instruments, etc., etc. Simply put my child should be better than everyone else's children in the neighbourhood. As teachers we may knowingly or unknowingly compare our students with each other, praise a few and ignore a few. Whatever be the case, the bottom line is that today's average 8 yr. old or 12 yr. old is under much more pressure than we were. The desire to excel at everything which the child or rather his/her parent decides to do comes at one big cost. This cost is the "Elimination of Play" from a child's life. 

The focus of this article will be on what essentially is play and why is it crucial to the overall development of your child. 

"Play encompasses children's behaviour which is freely chosen, personally directed and intrinsically motivated. It is performed for no external goal or reward, and is a fundamental and integral part of healthy development - not only for individual children, but also for the society in which they live." (Source: WWW)

The important characteristics of play are:

- Freely chosen means that children themselves decide what, how and when to play. There is no set programme of playing and no specific steps to complete. 

- Personally directed means that children themselves decide the rules and roles they take within their play. 

- Intrinsically motivated means that play is taken up for its own sake and not indulged in for some rewards, certificates, etc. 

Play is a way more complex activity than what we think. Sociologist Mildred Parten discovered there are six types of play that a child will take part in, depending on their age, mood and social setting. They are:

• Unoccupied play Referring mostly to newborns and infants, the term unoccupied play refers to activity when a child actually isn't playing at all. He may be engaged in seemingly random movements, with no objective. Despite appearances, this is definitely play and setting the stage for future play exploration.
• Solitary (independent) play Just what it sounds like -- when your child plays alone. This type of play is important because it teaches a child how to keep himself entertained, eventually setting the path for being self sufficient. 
• Onlooker play is when a child simply observes other children playing and doesn't partake in the action. Don't worry if your little one is behaving this way -- it could be that the child feels shy or needs to learn the rules or maybe is the youngest and wants to just take a step back for a while. 
• Parallel play Put two three year olds in a room together and this is what you are likely to see: the two children having fun, playing side by side in their own little world. It doesn't mean that they don't like one another, they are just engaging in parallel play. Despite having little social contact with her playmate, children who parallel play actually learn quite a bit from one another like taking turns and other social niceties, because even though it appears they aren't paying attention to each other, they truly are and often mimic the other one's behavior. As such, this type of play is viewed as an important bridge to the later stages of play.
• Associative play Slightly different than parallel play, associative play also features children playing separately from one another, but in this mode of play they are involved with what the others are doing. This is an important stage of play because it helps little ones develop a whole host of skills -- socialisation  and problem solving and cooperation. Through associative play is how children begin to make real friendships.
• Cooperative play is where all the stages come together and children truly start playing together. Common in older preschoolers (or in younger preschoolers who have older siblings or have been around a lot of children), cooperative play brings together all of the social skills your child has been working on and puts them into action. Whether they are building a puzzle together, playing a board game, "house" or an outdoor game with a group, cooperative play really sets the stage for future interactions as your child matures into an adult.

Having time and space to play gives children the opportunity to meet and socialise with their friends, keeps them physically active, and gives the freedom to choose what they want to do. Research shows that play has many benefits for children, families and the wider community, as well as improving health and quality of life. Recent research suggests that children's access to good play provision can:

• increase their self-awareness, self-esteem, and self-respect
• improve and maintain their physical and mental health
• give them the opportunity to mix with other children
• allow them to increase their confidence through developing new skills
• promote their imagination, independence and creativity
• offer opportunities for children of all abilities and backgrounds to play together
• provide opportunities for developing social skills and learning
• build resilience through risk taking and challenge, problem solving, and dealing with new and novel situations
• provide opportunities to learn about their environment and the wider community.

A therapy form that employs the basic principles of play in dealing with the various issues faced by children is Play Therapy. This therapy form is most effective with children up to 12 yrs of age to work upon a lot of concerns primarily behavioural and emotional which are encountered by children of the primary school age. The basic philosophy behind play therapy is to let children be and engage in play in an environment that does not try to guide them. With constant exposure to an environment where children can let their guard down and be accepted the way they are, eventually leads to reduced behavioural and emotional disturbances. 

Let your child free for at least an hour a day and witness them explore their world as they deem fit. 1 hour of unstructured play time is one of the best gifts you can give to your child.

(Article first published in Evescape, January-February, 2015.)